Side effects may include

hair balls, always wheezing,
sawing Barbi Dolls in pieces,
love of ads, bloody stool,

dining out totally nude, shark attack,
calling everybody dude --
constipation, turning tricks,

mushroom highs, harmless fibs,
severe case of boneless ribs,
no desire for iPod tunes,

staying up to watch Fox News --
lust for imitation crab and squid,
wine cooler inebriation,

breast surgery, cheating mate,
spinached teeth on a date,
always right day or night,

four inches added to penis size,
body odor, mad cow bite,
yen for yams and Spam fillets,

inability to go all the way,
pubic hair that will not curl,
40 weeks at Disney World.

Timothy Pilgrim